Several months ago, my dishwasher started leaking. Since I am someone who likes to get the greatest service life out of nearly dead appliances, I decided to try to make it not leak. Unfortunately, I could not figure out why it was leaking at all. I pulled the rubber door seal off and cleaned it, that did nothing. I also replaced the drain hose, that also did nothing.

So, I let it sit there. I’ve been using it as a dish tray.

I have periodically tried running it to see if it decided to magically work once again. Sometimes, things do that, you know. It’s like they’ve been holding a grudge but eventually forget why they were angry and suddenly want to make up. I’m fine with that. I’m not petty.

Unfortunately, the dishwasher never stopped leaking.

I’ve been looking for good deals on dishwashers, since I don’t think there is any real difference between any of them. I found one a couple of weeks ago.

While I was waiting for a salesperson to come sell me the cheapest model (they prefer customers who buy the more expensive models, since they get paid commission), I was talking to another guy who was there to buy a dishwasher.

“Mine’s leaking,” I said.

“Mine’s leaking, too,” he said. But then he described his, which was a so-called stow-away model (like there’s anywhere you can hide a dishwasher). And the hose which hooks up to the tap was leaking.

“Replace the hose?” I said in my nicest I-don’t-think-you’re-an-idiot voice.

He looked at me bizarrely and I could tell he was just going to buy another dishwasher.

He was wondering then how much trouble it would be to buy a built-in. I explained to him the surgery (butchery, most likely) that would need to be done to his cabinets, then I mentioned the plumbing that would need to be done. It was a bit like he didn’t realize any of those things.

And that makes me realize something. So many people go ahead and get things like built-in dishwashers that have nowhere to go simply because they have no idea how much trouble it is to put it in. And they then end up paying a crew of “experts” to hack it in place. I really think if people knew how much extra trouble there was going to be, most of them would not bother.

Anyway, my dishwasher had to be ordered so I picked it up a week later. I brought it home and parked it just inside the front door where it stayed for a few days. Then I braved the unknown and decided to install it.

Removing the old one was less than pleasant. I mentioned the butchery that takes place to install built-ins in existing cabinets. Well, that is exactly what happened in this house about 20 years ago. And I am not yet in a position to replace the lower cabinets and rebuild them around a dishwasher. So, I had to deal with the mess I already have.

Once I had the old dishwasher out, I discovered it has a nice little 1/6 hp motor in it. So, I removed that for future use.

Of course, installing the new dishwasher was straightforward. First, I had to install the new drain hose since the virtually unsused one I bought for the previous dishwasher did not fit the new dishwasher. And then I had to go buy a new water line connection, since that too was different. Then, unfortunately, I discovered the water connection (a pieced-together thing that adapted from a hose connection to a small threaded outlet) was sticking up too high and the dishwasher would not clear it when shoved in. So, I thought, I can unscrew that thing and, since it’s soldered together, I can take it apart and remake it so the dishwasher clears it. Then I wondered where my torch was. So, I went to the hardware store to find a fitting that would directly take its place.

That was one of the most irritating trips ever. There are roughly twenty million different plumbing fittings that do all kinds of things except what I want. I eventually found two that I could screw together and I thought that would work. Did it? Of course not.

So, I found my torch, I found my propane and solder and flux. About three minutes of work and I had the old custom fitting apart and reassembled with a lower profile.

This goes against my old and steady claim that it’s always faster to just go buy the thing you’re searching for. I think this may be a special case, though.