So, there is an election coming up in this country. And, of course, along with the election comes the constant and ubiquitous advertising for this or that person or party that wants to be elected, the touting of virtues, and the descries of villainy.

A proper perspective on elections and politicians is best provided by someone with no political tendencies whatsoever.

During one election campaign, several years ago, Pete said to me, “All these signs these people put up, they should have to go around and get them after the election.”

“I think they do.”

“I mean the person named on the sign. He personally should have to get them.”

“Maybe just the losers should have to do it.”

“No, every one of them.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, so I asked him who he was going to vote for.

“What’s it matter? Different names and faces on the same person.”

He gave me no chance to respond. “You know, it takes a certain type of person to want to be elected. You must have experienced some of them. You gotta remember in school the guy who always sat proper in class, who always volunteered to clean the blackboard or hand stuff out.”

“Or milk the goat,” I mumbled.

“What? Anyway, that guy always put his hand up to be selected to do that stuff so when the teacher had to go take a ****, he’d be put in charge.”

“You think so?”

“Of course. And when he grew up, he went out of his way to snuffle into the best positions so he could be top of the heap. He wants you to think of him as someone to be elevated. So, while you go deal with all your ****, he can be left to run things.”

“What?”

“He’s the kind of person that wants to be picked out. It’s not that he wants to do the things he’s being elected to do, he mostly wants to be elected. He’s not motivated properly. He doesn’t give a **** about what matters to you. I don’t know why people are so surprised when they find out that fearless leader can’t keep it in his pants. The whole situation must be quite a turn-on for him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s up on top, finally, you know, what he’s always wanted. I’m amazed things aren’t worse than they are.”

“Yeah.”

“You know what would be better?”

“Fascism?”

“Don’t be an idiot. What would be better is if some person was selected at random and put in charge, every three months, so he couldn’t screw anything up too badly. These guys only have limited use, anyway. The majority of what happens at a government level is done by dip****s sitting at desks day after day, year after year, stamping things no and yes. Those guys are even worse. Want to know about them?”

I can’t say the moral of this story is go out and vote. I’m not sure what it is.