So, after fixing my propane BBQ for the third time, I’m starting to think about getting something new.

That’s not to say the effort wasn’t worth it. But it’s becoming pretty obvious that the majority of the metal in the thing is disappearing. And I’m sure lots of experts would agree that you should not use a BBQ with large holes in it.

Although it does improve ventilation. It already had large holes in it.

When John and I were kids, we only ever had charcoal BBQs. My earliest memories are of a hibachi, just a little larger than a shoe box. And using it constituted a special occasion. First, someone had to get charcoal, then someone had to get it to burn. Maybe four hamburgers could be cooked on it at a time. I think the anticipation improved the experience.

Anticipation improves every experience, though. The actuality is what ruins it.

No more than two steaks could be cooked on the hibachi, and we were a family of six. So, the normal BBQ fare was either hamburgers or hot dogs.

My kids seem to think hot dogs are snack food, not a genuine meal item. At least once a week throughout my childhood, I had a meal of hotdogs on bread with mustard. I thought it was good.

The hibachi eventually rusted away, as they all do. Charcoal burning dripping grease, then left out in the rain, must end up making a fairly caustic sludge that eats metal. It’s probably a small-scale lye factory. Probably the same thing occurs in the propane BBQ. Anyway, no metal last very long.

The hibachi was replaced by a pile of bricks. A mini brick tower, would be a better description, with a piece of sheet metal as a pan at the bottom. The near-dead grill from the hibachi was set atop it for a while. It was then replaced with a cake rack, but that didn’t last very long. I think it ended up with the rack from an oven on it. Anyway, that BBQ worked better, because it was bigger and more food could be cooked on it. I can’t remember how long it took to disintegrate.

I have been looking at new grills. I have been examining them with an eye toward what will rust away first. I know the paper-thin baffles will go quickly, but that’s not much of a worry. I am more concerned with the grills themselves, now, since I see so many that are either steel with a non-stick coating or cast iron with a ceramic coating.

I don’t want flakes of burnt non-stick coating getting between my teeth. Nor do I want chips of cracked ceramic contributing to my dentistry bills. But the manufacturers love these things that just don’t matter. They convince people without any effort. Cast iron is great for grilling. Why on earth would anyone want ceramic on it? What does that do, exactly?

It makes it shiny in the store.

I remember ceramic-coated steel pots and pans that were everywhere when I was a kid. They were cheap and there was no substance other than water that didn’t stick to them. Now, it seems, they’re suffering a resurgence in popularity, since I see colourful (but still cheap) ceramic pots and frying pans on store shelves. A ceramic frying pan is second only to the kitchen-pot-set stainless steel frying pan for being useless. But ceramic on a BBQ grill may beat them both.

But what does it matter? Judging from how many of these things line the streets in my hometown every summer, people get rid of their grills every couple of years. Maybe that should be where I get my next new BBQ.