I’ve had a number of less-than-pleasant experiences with decks. To tell the truth, I’ve not actually spent much time working on them but practically all that time was more or less unpleasant.

A few years ago, for instance, I decided that my own deck needed painting. I bought a few gallons of alkyd paint and set to work cleaning to prepare the surface. The wood was bare when I bought the house (I didn’t make the deck) and there is very little sunlight back there. Also, there are several large trees which keep dropping seeds and leaves and twigs and sometimes large branches. The deck is always covered with some kind of tree-related waste. Sometimes, I think trees make more mess than humans do.

Of course, they don’t.

Anyway, the wood was not in great condition for painting, since it had all more or less completely turned black, but I thought I could make it more receptive with water and a stiff deck broom. So, I spent a full day scrubbing the boards. I started off feeling a bit like a pirate but soon started to feel more like a donkey and could barely stand up straight.

But I was pleased with how clean the wood became. So, I let it dry out completely, swept the newly fallen tree-excrement away, then started painting.

Rolling the paint out onto the deck itself is perfectly tranquil. It goes out so easily, you think it’s one of the best ways to spend your time. Then, since that’s done after 15 minutes or so, you look at the railings and realize they need paint, too.

Every bit of the railing, I did with a brush.

I could have got a sprayer, I guess, but it never occurred to me. And it took two days to do it. By the end of the second day, I could not open my right hand. It had completely conformed to the shape of the brush handle.

That may be an exaggeration. But it reminds me of once, a few years ago, when John and I had to build a deck between two trailers on a job site. I spent over 10 hours that day driving three inch nails with my hammer. And, at the end of that day, I had gone through over 50 pounds of nails and could not move my fingers at all.

A few years before that, I had gone through a fifty pound box of galvanized four inch nails working on a fence. Those nails needed to be clinched over, since they stuck through the other side. That was like a vertical deck.

And around twenty years ago, working on another deck, I got so sunburnt, I had to lay face down to sleep and couldn’t let my legs touch one another when I walked. Sometimes, short pants in the summer is not a great idea.

Anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh, lately, my wife and I have wanted to get some use out of our deck. So, I made some gates to block the two exits and we have been trying to go out there with the baby every day. Of course, all the paint has peeled off the horizontal surfaces. And the deck itself is always covered with junk from the trees. But the baby likes it out there. And she’s getting used to the taste of maple twigs. The seeds are truly amazing to watch as they fall.